sam chalmersTen Things I Hate About YOU!
May 2nd 2006 09:24
Aunty amy’s top tips of the day:
1. If you MUST drink instant coffee, the best I’ve been forced to resort to is Nestle Gold. All those fancy Kenyan and Arabic ones taste too much like bad coffee. Nestle Gold is ordinary coffee you don’t need to pay attention to. It does the job.
2. Avoid Kit Kat Temptations. They are all temptation, no follow-through. It’s like a model who’s bad in bed. Don’t be fooled!
3. If you MUST drink chai tea at home, I recommend Twinings chai teabags. I’m still chasing the chunky stuff they have at some cafes…
4. Green M&Ms – we like! Welcome to the pack.
6. Boost Bars are deceptive (albeit chocolate). They boost nothing. I was not boosted. I wanted to be boosted. Either I was unboostable or the name is just boostful (heheh and not in a good way, am I right? Am I right?). Choose something with more substance. If you are boostish, please refer to emergency protocol.
7. What do you call a cow who's just given birth? De-calf-inated!
8. Learn to do this. It is truly phenomenal and combines two of the beautiful things in this life – well on the way to hedonism that would do Lia proud. If you promise to do this on command for the rest of my natural life, I will love you forever. (Fair’s fair)
9. Odd numbers are evil. Like left-handers. A minority you can bag without being politically incorrect! Hurrah! Did you know that the word “sinister” comes from ”sinistra,” the Latin for LEFT?!? Proof dammit!
10. You know the kacky grounds that are left in coffee machines? That baristas bang out into a bin? At night they regroup, reconstitute, recompose themselves and roam the earth looking for the weak and defenceless. Only I have the secrets to your protection.
You are well advised to come back soon.
* The names have been changed but the stories are real.
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Comment by Cibbuano
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Are you really an Aunt? Like an old spinster?
I, too, don't like Boost Bars, but I thought those tempting Kit Kats were alright...
Comment by Lia
Mmm.. I got massively chai addicted in the summer holidays. I'm sure you've already pointed this out, but avoid Chai Latte- it is pure tasteless grainy evil. But the Nerada isn't too bad. It lacks excitement, but that just means I can drink it before bed. Will try the Twinings! Hmm, they now sell the syrup stuff lots of cafes make it with at Coles- has anyone else noticed a massive explosion of variety in your local supermarket's tea and flavoured coffee section? And now they have milk and sugar and coffee in a tube! 'Perfect for camping'. Will it kill me, will it boost me?
Only you, Amy, have the answers. Return soon, and save me from the coffee kack!
Comment by amy
Lia, my sources tell me that link was not sick - maybe your computer is sick =/ Please give it my best wishes.
Any first hand experience of this syrupy stuff? Feels wrong drinking herbal tea that's so manufactured...
Now milk/sugar/coffee in a tube - I will definitely try that and see if it kills me - just think of the benefits to the modern student!!!!!
Thanks for stopping by Lia - thanks for indulging my silliness!!!! =)
Comment by Sisi
Comment by amy
I'm abandoning coffee.
Since when have all the nerds who read blogs been anti coffee???!!!!! There are so many people who would find this stuff so irrelevant to their lives =(
On a more positive note, glad the link worked, Sisi.
Comment by Sisi
Comment by Cibbuano
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I'm just not pro-coffee...
I would have thought the coffee art would have been a little more intricate.. Where's the Mona Lisa?
Comment by amy
Wow do some people have high expectations!
I'd like to see YOU draw a butterfly in coffee, Mr Unimpressable!
Comment by Cibbuano
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(I'm setting myself up to disappoint myself)
Comment by Sisi