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Be a Sydney Real Estate Copywriter!

January 15th 2008 07:15
Be a Sydney Real Estate Copywriter!
Sick of unpaid blogging? Sydney’s booming housing market offers a career opportunity for writing enthusiasts. Take a look at your local realo’s printed glossy advertising vehicle, or domain.com. You don’t even need a command of English to crank out this kind of copy—one ad boasted that the unit was located in a ‘sort-after’ area—just an affinity for frogshit.

I nearly choked on my coffee when I spotted an ad for the North Sydney rental dump I used to live in. The author shows an astounding talent for euphemisms and flowery adjectives worthy of Mills & Boon.


Why should someone else get paid to do this? Why not me? I’ve decided to give it a try…

Rooty Hill ambience, Liberal voter postcode!

Late Victorian gem, chopped into three flats by an enterprising landlord with a passion for DIY and a jones for illegal wiring.

Nestled between the shabby gentility of Flat 1 (sweeping view of blocks of flats with sweeping harbour views) and the edgy cool of Flat 3 (al fresco shower and loo in weed-choked courtyard), Flat 2 offers the discerning tenant the following prestige amenities:

•Vintage kitchen appliances: H.G. Palmer fridge featuring solid ice block freezer compartment; Metters Slimline stove with ornamental toaster tray, non-functional burners, and heritage bits of dried egg
•Wall-to-wall carpet in trendy Rental Brown; bathroom tiles in Barf Camouflage
•70s Orgasmatron shower unit drains freely into the sewer, without the encumbrance of a water seal. During hot showers, the odour of steaming effluvia adds an exotic Calcutta vibe to this charming retro element
•Handy proximity to Kirribilli’s premium-priced eateries

•Nearby coffee shops with outside tables offer ample opportunities for public preening
•Distinguished demographic: from the P.M. in Kirribilli House, to the colourful denizens of Greenway Public Housing, to the wanker who roars down Carabella Avenue in his red Ferrari, this neighbourhood truly has it all!

A short stroll to the Telstra payphone, the Australia Post box, and all the varied pleasures of this enviably chic and oh-so-exclusive area. Ring 0400 SUC KER for a guided tour. (Those with impeccable references need only enquire.)
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4 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by Anonymous

January 17th 2008 01:05
As an experienced journalist and PR practitioner writing ads for prestige listings, I take umbrage to your post. Don't get me wrong, I've seen the 'sort afters' and apartments 'boasting' things... who knew bricks could talk? What's more, these places apparently still sell. After all, you really only need to know how many bedrooms it has, and whether it's open-plan with a big backyard, or segmented and ready for a reno. But I must defend the place of professional marketing copy for certain elite audiences. It actually communicates more about the agency (a form of indirect marketing communication) than the property itself. W**k factor or not, this service is seen as being very valuable.


Comment by Mitchell Hooter

January 17th 2008 11:06
No need to take umbrage, Anonymous. I'm just jealous. I applied for a job as a real estate copywriter and they didn't hire me because I didn't have my own car. I also failed the drug test.

Comment by Morgan Bell

April 3rd 2008 05:10
a jones for illegal wiring? hahaha
i think ive lived in that place!

Comment by Anonymous

February 1st 2012 00:12
Hi,
We are looking for a copywriter to work on our real estate shoots.
Could you please give me a call (0408961140) as soon as you can as our new clients have come on board and we will get the ball kicking as early as next week.
Would love to know your capacity and if you have other staff who you will be sending on your behalf.
AREAS: mainly around Surry Hills, Alexandria, Newtown, Erskineville.
Approximately 10-15 jobs per month.


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