Troy McNaughtonSnacktime!
May 8th 2006 01:06
Everyone needs a guide to bizarre, quick, raid-your-kitchen, nothing-to eat snacks for munchie crises!
Strange but true, these are the strange concoctions of people in my life for those times when you have nothing but the standard kitchen resources (and sometimes not even that!) and you can’t be bothered to be creative – everyone has a backstop, an insurance policy against the Ethiopian faminesque (which is SO last year).
My personal favourite of the week would have to be:
... for which I have been persecuted, yes, persecuted in this gods-forsaken country when it's perfectly natural and normal and even considered shamefully conservative in the US! It's not avant-garde people, hell, it's not even the much maligned peanut butter and jelly! (translation for the Aussies: jam)
This is more a brunch / lunch / afternoon tea / dinner-before-running-out-at-night kind of snack. For breakfast I much prefer:
It's very important you put 4 saos in the centre of a dinner plate when microwaving so you get minimal cheese spillage!
My mother has a couple of odd favourites:
... Ah the staple of my childhood.
No, Mum, not EVERYTHING goes with cheese.
My Dad insists on:
... but I tried it and it gave me an uncontrollable urge to take the sandwich apart - the combination MAKES everything taste better separately!!
Miss T swears by
... but she's a freak.
If you've got a hankering for something sweet, find any softish fruit you can, cut up small and raid the pantry!
Or the sweet/savoury midpoint:
Everyone needs a menu for those dire situations when
a) there's nothing in the house;
b) you don't feel like eating but you're hungry;
c) you're bored and lonely and comfort eating *sniff*.
What do you eat when there's nothing interesting to eat?
A guy approaches the window of the movie theater with a chicken under his arm, and asks for 2 tickets. The girl at the counter wants to know who is going in with him. He replies, "Well, my pet chicken, of course!"
The girl tells him that he CAN'T take a chicken into the theater, so he goes around the corner, stuffs the chicken into his trousers, and returns. He buys his ticket and goes in, happy to have duped The Establishment.
Inside the theater, the chicken starts to get hot and begins to squirm, so the man unzips his fly so the chicken can stick its head out, get some air and watch the movie.
The old lady next to him whispers to her lady friend, "Myrtle, this man over here has just unzipped his pants!"
Myrtle whispers back, "Oh, don't worry about it - you've seen one, you've seen them all."
The old lady replies, "I KNOW......
But this one's eating my POPCORN!...
That's one hungry cock."
Strange but true, these are the strange concoctions of people in my life for those times when you have nothing but the standard kitchen resources (and sometimes not even that!) and you can’t be bothered to be creative – everyone has a backstop, an insurance policy against the Ethiopian faminesque (which is SO last year).
My personal favourite of the week would have to be:
peanut butter & honey sandwich
This is more a brunch / lunch / afternoon tea / dinner-before-running-out-at-night kind of snack. For breakfast I much prefer:
saos with tomato sauce & melted cheese
It's very important you put 4 saos in the centre of a dinner plate when microwaving so you get minimal cheese spillage!
My mother has a couple of odd favourites:
celery & peanut butter (or cream cheese)
... Ah the staple of my childhood.
sweet biscuits & cheese?!?!
apple & cheese?!?!
No, Mum, not EVERYTHING goes with cheese.
My Dad insists on:
peanut butter & tomato sandwich
... but I tried it and it gave me an uncontrollable urge to take the sandwich apart - the combination MAKES everything taste better separately!!
Miss T swears by
bread & tomato sauce - not even a sandwich!
... but she's a freak.
If you've got a hankering for something sweet, find any softish fruit you can, cut up small and raid the pantry!
strawberries & icing sugar - yum!
always keep frozen raspberries handy!
Or the sweet/savoury midpoint:
mashed avocado & mayo
Everyone needs a menu for those dire situations when
a) there's nothing in the house;
b) you don't feel like eating but you're hungry;
c) you're bored and lonely and comfort eating *sniff*.
What do you eat when there's nothing interesting to eat?
A guy approaches the window of the movie theater with a chicken under his arm, and asks for 2 tickets. The girl at the counter wants to know who is going in with him. He replies, "Well, my pet chicken, of course!"
The girl tells him that he CAN'T take a chicken into the theater, so he goes around the corner, stuffs the chicken into his trousers, and returns. He buys his ticket and goes in, happy to have duped The Establishment.
Inside the theater, the chicken starts to get hot and begins to squirm, so the man unzips his fly so the chicken can stick its head out, get some air and watch the movie.
The old lady next to him whispers to her lady friend, "Myrtle, this man over here has just unzipped his pants!"
Myrtle whispers back, "Oh, don't worry about it - you've seen one, you've seen them all."
The old lady replies, "I KNOW......
But this one's eating my POPCORN!...
That's one hungry cock."
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Comment by Cibbuano
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Personally, I like to put hommous on toasted bread, slap some cheese on there, then microwave it. Yum!
Comment by edward
Rocky's Running Diary
Peanut butter goes with everything. Cheese, Jam, Honey, Nutella (Nutella especially), in smoothies, chocolate...
Comment by Cibbuano
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p-p-p-Post of the Day!
Comment by amy
Glad my Photoshop/Paint time wasting was not all for naught!
Hommous and cheese never occurred to me... Hommous and lebanese bread (like I'm sure the Lebanese call it that) is ideal, but how many ppl keep hommous for emergencies??
Oh please Edward tell me you don't eat peanut butter with cheese... No Edward, peanut butter does NOT go with everything!!!
Comment by Lia
*shudders at bread and tomato sauce* The vegetarian option at any school function- tomato sauce sandwiches!
Mm... raspberries and strawberries and sweet icing sugar.. does anyone else get happy valentine's day flashbacks?
Comment by amy
But maybe that's because EVERY DAY CAN BE VALENTINES DAY WITH ICING SUGAR! (cheering, party horns, fireworks)
Comment by Cibbuano
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you know what's great? Cheese and hot chocolate... I had a colombian roommate that introduced me to it - I guess they have that for breakfast...
it was great... soft cheese on fresh bread, dipped in thick, chocolately hot chocolate.
Comment by amy
French bread and butter - yes, but ONLY if you're drinking your hot chocolate (chocolat chaux - poonce poonce) from a bowl.
And no plates allowed for bread.
French people think it's a piece of cutlery or something.
Oh and it's impervious to germs and dirt. Now if only we could find a way to create armour made of bread... The boy in the bubble would be free! Bird flu would just put you off chicken! Biological warfare would be a thing of the past!
Comment by Lia
But Cibby, that is weird! Like mixed fondue!
Amy, should we return to the good old days of trenchers? Mm.. and then you get to eat the soggy plate!
Comment by amy
What in the hey are trenchers??!
Comment by Cibbuano
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hot chocolate cheese: yes, it's weird. But they've been eating it like that for years and years. Try it - it's good!
re: bread armour - a good idea, but I'd be tempted to eat it while I was fighting... 'anybody got some croutons?'
Comment by Lia
Trenchers- large pieces of hardened or stale bread used as plates in medieval dining.
If we are wearing bread-armour, would we fence with baguettes?
Comment by edward
Rocky's Running Diary
easily the best combination, although not exactly snack (well not at all infact) is beef, onions, red wine (cooked into it, not to drink!) and pepper. ooooohhhhhh yeah!
might rip off your idea and do a similar post...
Comment by Cibbuano
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Comment by Lia
Comment by amy
Edward you are banished. You wouldn't know a snack if it hit you in the face. Lia - use that baguette!
Comment by Cibbuano
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let's all calm down and take a hit out of this sugar-packed water pipe.
*sucks on pipe - sound of bubbling*
*blows out smoke* Whew!
That's some good shit...!