Troy McNaughtonMystery of the week: Unlicensed happy hours
July 6th 2006 18:23
I understand Happy Hour. It’s one of two times: when there would otherwise be nobody at the venue and you don’t expect to be overrun by people wanting cheap drinks either, or when you’re trying to snag people before they choose somewhere else to settle down in for the night.
A good example of the latter is Kuletos, King Street, Newtown and its double happy hour on Thursday nights. There’s an early and a late shift, and by the time you’ve been to the first, you can’t be bothered to go far, so you go grab some Thai for dinner and by the time you’re ready to drink again, wha-hey! It’s the second happy hour! Two-for-one cocktails – why would anyone go anywhere else?
So happy hours are about a) getting people to choose your venue, b) getting people to stay at your venue and c) getting people to buy more of whatever you’re selling.
Therefore, logically, why hasn’t McDonalds co-opted “happy hour” as “McHappy McHour” at, say, 11am or 4am, when they should theoretically reap the same benefits as pubs and bars?
The answer?
Because they won’t reap those benefits.
a) People go to McDonalds because it’s convenient, it’s the only thing open, it’s the only thing they can afford, or they have a craving. And people who don’t go to McDonalds won’t go there for cheaper Maccas.
b) Nobody is going to hang around and eat more at a take-away joint.
c) You might be able to drink all night, but you certainly can’t eat Maccas all night unless you’re a hardcore documentarian doing some seriously dedicated research.
So given this comparison, why would take-away coffee places in the CBD suddenly be jumping on the happy hour bandwagon?
I’ve seen at least three. One was at 1pm. One was at 3pm. Both for an hour, offering discounted coffees. Let’s address the benefits again:
a) People go to their favourite café where the baristas know what they like, or they go to the place closest to where they are. Fifty cents’ difference for a specified timeslot in the day is not going to be much of a drawcard if you work in the CBD.
b) It’s a take-away place!
c) It might be addictive, but you’re not going to buy 4 coffees and line them all up just because they’re a little bit cheaper. More coffees are not going to make your coworkers look more attractive in the afternoon. More coffees are not going to make you forget your hellish afternoon. More coffees are not going to decrease your inhibitions (if anything all that nervous tension and hyperawareness will probably increase them) or make you relax.
Coffee is a social drink, for sure, but it’s never going to replace the role of alcohol as a social lubricant. Talking to someone you don’t like or are not interested by only gets harder with an increased number of coffees with them (over time) – the opposite is the case with alcohol.
Café happy hours – or worse, coffee vendor happy hours – are not going to catch on, for the simple reason that they achieve nothing from a business or a social perspective.
Very innovative, guys, but you’re going to have to try harder than that to snare the suited savvy Sipper in the City.
* Photo by Nik Frey
So happy hours are about a) getting people to choose your venue, b) getting people to stay at your venue and c) getting people to buy more of whatever you’re selling.
Therefore, logically, why hasn’t McDonalds co-opted “happy hour” as “McHappy McHour” at, say, 11am or 4am, when they should theoretically reap the same benefits as pubs and bars?
The answer?
Because they won’t reap those benefits.
a) People go to McDonalds because it’s convenient, it’s the only thing open, it’s the only thing they can afford, or they have a craving. And people who don’t go to McDonalds won’t go there for cheaper Maccas.
b) Nobody is going to hang around and eat more at a take-away joint.
c) You might be able to drink all night, but you certainly can’t eat Maccas all night unless you’re a hardcore documentarian doing some seriously dedicated research.
So given this comparison, why would take-away coffee places in the CBD suddenly be jumping on the happy hour bandwagon?
I’ve seen at least three. One was at 1pm. One was at 3pm. Both for an hour, offering discounted coffees. Let’s address the benefits again:
a) People go to their favourite café where the baristas know what they like, or they go to the place closest to where they are. Fifty cents’ difference for a specified timeslot in the day is not going to be much of a drawcard if you work in the CBD.
b) It’s a take-away place!
c) It might be addictive, but you’re not going to buy 4 coffees and line them all up just because they’re a little bit cheaper. More coffees are not going to make your coworkers look more attractive in the afternoon. More coffees are not going to make you forget your hellish afternoon. More coffees are not going to decrease your inhibitions (if anything all that nervous tension and hyperawareness will probably increase them) or make you relax.
Coffee is a social drink, for sure, but it’s never going to replace the role of alcohol as a social lubricant. Talking to someone you don’t like or are not interested by only gets harder with an increased number of coffees with them (over time) – the opposite is the case with alcohol.
Café happy hours – or worse, coffee vendor happy hours – are not going to catch on, for the simple reason that they achieve nothing from a business or a social perspective.
Very innovative, guys, but you’re going to have to try harder than that to snare the suited savvy Sipper in the City.
* Photo by Nik Frey
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Comment by Cibbuano
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Comment by amy
Alternatively, they could convert to Dutch "coffee houses" and serve hash cookies.
Either way, the working afternoon is sure to go a lot more smoothly.