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Quote of the week:

April 22nd 2006 03:38
“The time has come,” the blogger said,
“To talk of many venues:
Of friands - melts - and Earl Grey tea,
Of regulars – ingénues -
And whether caps are boiling hot -
And what else is on their menus.”

hot hot hot
I have a problem. I know every darn line in what is widely regarded as an ordinary movie: Reality Bites. It’s Ben Stiller’s early work, and frankly I’m a little too attached. I don’t care how much you liked Zoolander, he was responsible for Meet the Parents.


Anyway, one thing that has always bothered me is when Grant Gubler, dapper host of “Good Morning Grant” (think Rove for fogies) says, “Sit back, have a cup o’ joe!” and Winona Ryder has forgotten to get him his coffee prop.

She (Lelaina Pearce) says, “Didn’t you get my ‘express yourself’ memo?” and then he says… Ok this might never end. I’ll quit while I’m not too far away from the point.

And there I was for years and years and years thinking that said cup of said “joe” was a brand name. Joe ™. Joe ©. Joe Pty Limited. You know.


But one day I heard it elsewhere. Apparently its American synonymese for coffee. A cup o’ joe. Alright, I give up, who decided Joe tasted like coffee?

crunch crunch
So I did some leg work in case any one else was wondering (maaaaaybe it’s just me) and it turns out that Java Mocha = Jamoke, sometimes written as Jamocha. World Wide Words gives the example from the intriguingly titled book, “Gay-Cat” of 1922:

“There ain’t nothing stronger in the booze line than pure alky mixed with jamocha”.

But that’s as close as we get. One can only assume it’s that capitalist time-is-money force in American society that turns “jamocha” into just plain “joe.”

To leave you on an even nerdier note (knock me down with a feather):

What's fat and drinks a lot of coffee?

……Java the Hut

Go forth and caffeinate!
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Why Coffee Is Better Than Men...

April 21st 2006 09:16
Okay, so it’s all over the internet, but rarely is it so much on point!

So why IS coffee better than men?

1. A cup of coffee looks good in the morning.
2. You won't fall asleep after a cup of coffee.
3. You can always warm coffee up. Try microwaving a man.
4. Coffee comes with endless refills.
5. You won't get arrested for ordering coffee at 3 AM. But you might not sleep.
6. Coffee is out of your system by tomorrow morning.
7. You can make coffee as sweet as you want.
9. You can turn the pot on, leave the room, and it'll be hot for you when you get back.
10. You can always ditch a bad cup of coffee.
11. No matter how ugly you are, you can always get a cup of coffee.
12. You get to pick the size.
13. You can have an intelligent conversation with coffee (although it doesn’t want to talk to Jewel).
14. Coffee doesn't take up half your bed.
15. Coffee doesn't mind if you wake up at 3 AM and decide to have a cup.
16. You can put out a cigarette in a cup of coffee.
17. If you put chocolate in your coffee, it doesn’t put on weight.
18. When coffee gets old, you can throw it away.
19. Your coffee won’t be jealous of a larger cup.
16. INSTANT COFFEE!

If you want to know what this particularly alluring tarot card means, check out the Metrosexual Tarot page!!!
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1. You answer the door before people knock.

2. You ski uphill.

3. You get a tax cut for all the coffee you bought.

4. You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.

5. You speed walk in your sleep.

6. You have a bumper sticker that says: "Coffee drinkers are good in the sack."

7. You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.

8. You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit.

9. You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

10. The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.

11. You sleep with your eyes open.

12. When you open your dish cabinet, and there are only mugs.

13. You have to watch videos in fast-forward.

14. The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.

15. You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.

16. You lick your coffeepot clean.

17. You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.

18. You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.

19. Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.

20. Your coffee cake must have coffee in it.

21. You chew on other people's fingernails.

22. Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend."

23. You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.

24. You can type sixty words per minute... with your feet.

25. The only gift you get for Valentines Day you get is chocolate covered beans.

26. You can jump-start your car without cables.

27. All your kids are named "Joe".

28. You don't sweat, you percolate.

29. You've worn out the handle on your favourite mug.

30. You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.

31. You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.

32. You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.

33. Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.

34. Every shirt or blouse you own has a coffee stain on it.

35. You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.

36. People get dizzy just watching you.

37. You've worn the finish off your coffee table.

38. Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.

39. You're so wired, you pick up AM radio and people test their batteries in your ears.

40. Instant coffee takes too long.

41. When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."

42. You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.

43. You want to come back as a coffee mug in your next life.

44. Your hand is permanently shaped to hold your mug.

45. You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.
46. You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.

47. You name your cats "Cream" and "Sugar."

48. You get drunk just so you can sober up.

49. You speak perfect Arabic without ever taking a lesson.

50. Your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.

51. You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.

52. You can outlast the Energizer bunny.

53. You can jump to the moon.

54. You short out motion detectors.

55. You have a conniption over spilled milk.

56. You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.

57. Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.

58. You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.

59. You don't tan, you roast.

60. You don't get mad, you get steamed.

61. Your three favourite things in life are...coffee before, coffee during and coffee after.

62. Your lover uses soft lights, romantic music, and a glass of iced coffee to get you in the mood.

63. You can't even remember your second cup.

64. You help your dog chase its tail.

65. You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.

66. You introduce your spouse as your coffeemate.

67. You think CPR stands for "Coffee Provides Resuscitation."

68. Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup

(adapted from The Lite Side of Coffee)

And some of my own....:

69. You have to warn epileptics if you wear too much bling.

70. Edges cut with scissors end up looking like you've used pinking sheers.

71. If you're holding a pen you get responses in morse code.

72. You like your men the way you like your coffee: tall, black, strong, and with plenty of crema. That's not a euphemism, you only really want coffee.

73. Your tongue is an asbestos hazard, it's so heat resistant.

74. The Coffee Group is at the bottom of your food pyramid.

75. Your friends have started using that old Bugs Bunny gag to shut you up: "One lump or two?" "Two please" *insert cartoon sounds of being hit on the head with a mallet*.
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Snaps to the messenger

April 7th 2006 08:17
One of the most stimulating conspiracy theories ever!

Look at the world anew and raise your eyebrows at another American megacorp as they turn the tables on homophobic jocks!

Sate your curiosity
or find a post that is actually about movies at 20/20 Filmsight.
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Tip-offs always appreciated!

April 6th 2006 02:04
It's a sad day that gets too hot for coffee, but I hope, like me, you managed to sneak one or two in this morning.

I'm currently conducting very scientific experiments to see whether I can taste the difference between skim and full cream milk. It involves changing my order every time I have a coffee so that both my local baristas and I are never quite sure what I ordered that day. If I can't guess, I win.

Today, however, I couldn't stir. No teaspoon. A word on Redfern cafes: it's possible their employees are on drugs. At least they're the friendly kind. They just need a little prompting.

Does anyone else think that Franz Ferdinand's Do You Want To sounds awefully like "Well Tia, Tia TiaJuana!" and nothing like the Received Pronunciation its title is purporting to speak?!

And a note to Miss Barista, the cafe you're thinking of is Varga Bar Expresso, at 100 Wilson Street, Newtown. I'll be reviewing more Newtown cafes shortly, and will be sure to include that one!

In addition, the distinction between types of coffee will certainly be getting more airtime - respect the different species!!!

Thanks also to Mythtery, could I assume that is Doppio Expresso at 284 Pitt Street? Not so much atmosphere, guess it's more a take-away choice. (which are just as important for those of us with busy lives!)

I just want to leave you with something unrelated and bizarre. Because, well, I can. Get into it!

Here's a parallel universe for you to visit
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