Troy McNaughtonAddendum to Tipping Etiquette
June 9th 2006 03:13
Revisiting yesterday’s post on tipping etiquette, I was chatting to my father about the issue and discovered another option for giving feedback for bad service.
If you really want to get the message across – and particularly if you look like a young, poor student who wouldn’t tip anyway – don’t just not leave a tip. Leave five cents.
The rationale is this: you make it clear that you considered giving them a tip – you didn’t forget, you’re not too stingy, and you realised the etiquette would be to leave one.
But you decided against giving them anything substantial because they were rubbish. Oh how actions may speak louder than words!
It’s a matter for you whether you think they’re worth your precious five cents!
Two scenarios that have also been raised as potential crises of tipping conscience:
SCENARIO A: The friend who throws all the change, some or all of which was yours, into the tipping kitty without your consent.
It's widely understood that tipping in Australia is a personal choice. Hell, it's a lifestyle choice. Do you have spare change? Are you going to need that dollar for your weekly loaf of bread? Do you care whether the wait staff like you? Do you believe they get paid too little? Do you want the world to be a better place?
This means that one should never tip on another's behalf. This is RUDE. They should always offer your change back to you, leaving it to your discretion whether you say "Don't worry about it" or you put it in the jar on your way out or you pocket it.
The other person has the right to guilt you into tipping, coerce you even, but they're not allowed to tip your money for you!
What is the appropriate response? No, you can't tell them off (they will think you're pathetic and petty and stingy). No, you can't raid the tip jar for your money (the wait staff will chase you away thinking what your friend was thinking but also considering laying charges).
No, the only remedy is this: Always bring exact change when you're out with said presumptuous friend!
SCENARIO B: The friend who lets you pay (including the tip) and then pays you back (ignoring the tip).
This is a product of common tenet that tipping is a personal choice. The question of etiquette lies not in whether they pay half the tip, but rather whether they would have tipped if you did not.
It is at your discretion to tip, and you can't EXPECT someone else to pay half.
But if they were going to tip anyway, they ought to share some of that responsibility by either adding their own tip at the time or taking the opportunity to pay half (or at least a contribution) when they pay you back.
Now we have to wonder, "What are a few dollars between friends?" (feeling a bit Carrie Bradshaw today....!)
Remedy? Don't tip any more than you would if you were there by yourself. Don't tip on your friend's behalf. If they consider your tip to be too little, they will have to bring it up, which makes them liable for half. Hurrah!
Stay tuned for more etiquette posts on "Who pays?" questions for the cafe-goer. Meantime, may your coffees be hot and your cafes cool.
PS. Note to my non-registered readers: now you can POST A COMMENT without having to register! It can be anonymous or with a nickname or your own name, but it's fast and easy. Just click on "Comments" under this post! Sometimes your opinions just shouldn't stay under that bushel...
If you really want to get the message across – and particularly if you look like a young, poor student who wouldn’t tip anyway – don’t just not leave a tip. Leave five cents.
The rationale is this: you make it clear that you considered giving them a tip – you didn’t forget, you’re not too stingy, and you realised the etiquette would be to leave one.
But you decided against giving them anything substantial because they were rubbish. Oh how actions may speak louder than words!
It’s a matter for you whether you think they’re worth your precious five cents!
Two scenarios that have also been raised as potential crises of tipping conscience:
SCENARIO A: The friend who throws all the change, some or all of which was yours, into the tipping kitty without your consent.
It's widely understood that tipping in Australia is a personal choice. Hell, it's a lifestyle choice. Do you have spare change? Are you going to need that dollar for your weekly loaf of bread? Do you care whether the wait staff like you? Do you believe they get paid too little? Do you want the world to be a better place?
This means that one should never tip on another's behalf. This is RUDE. They should always offer your change back to you, leaving it to your discretion whether you say "Don't worry about it" or you put it in the jar on your way out or you pocket it.
The other person has the right to guilt you into tipping, coerce you even, but they're not allowed to tip your money for you!
What is the appropriate response? No, you can't tell them off (they will think you're pathetic and petty and stingy). No, you can't raid the tip jar for your money (the wait staff will chase you away thinking what your friend was thinking but also considering laying charges).
No, the only remedy is this: Always bring exact change when you're out with said presumptuous friend!
SCENARIO B: The friend who lets you pay (including the tip) and then pays you back (ignoring the tip).
This is a product of common tenet that tipping is a personal choice. The question of etiquette lies not in whether they pay half the tip, but rather whether they would have tipped if you did not.
It is at your discretion to tip, and you can't EXPECT someone else to pay half.
But if they were going to tip anyway, they ought to share some of that responsibility by either adding their own tip at the time or taking the opportunity to pay half (or at least a contribution) when they pay you back.
Now we have to wonder, "What are a few dollars between friends?" (feeling a bit Carrie Bradshaw today....!)
Remedy? Don't tip any more than you would if you were there by yourself. Don't tip on your friend's behalf. If they consider your tip to be too little, they will have to bring it up, which makes them liable for half. Hurrah!
Stay tuned for more etiquette posts on "Who pays?" questions for the cafe-goer. Meantime, may your coffees be hot and your cafes cool.
PS. Note to my non-registered readers: now you can POST A COMMENT without having to register! It can be anonymous or with a nickname or your own name, but it's fast and easy. Just click on "Comments" under this post! Sometimes your opinions just shouldn't stay under that bushel...
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Comment by usch
now i can give you all my newtown cafe goss.
- ursula
Comment by amy
Cappuccinistas come one, come all!
Thanks for dropping by too =)
Comment by Cibbuano
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Comment by amy
Comment by Mr T
Comment by amy
You, er, I mean, your friend, has an ingrate date. She broke several of the tipping etiquette rules! And for this she should be burnt at the stake for the witch she is.
Then again, if the heated conversation arose from your, I mean, your friend's pride (ie. what are you tipping for? are you calling me a cheapskate?), he has no recourse to medieval death penalties. She should be allowed to contribute if he's paying for the meal.
May your tipping experience be happy ones Mr T!